BUSINESS 136 [M] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] - Classroom A - Classroom B

Lesson 4:The Art of Dialogue

We are going to touch quickly on dialogue, since WVU offers other specific dialogue courses. For this course, we're going to focus on the dos and don'ts of writing dialogue and using tags.

"I love you," she smiled.
What's wrong with this? Nothing, you say. Oh contrare, at least for the first-time unpublished writer. Once we have a name for ourselves, most of the so-called rules go out the door, but . . .the problem with the above tag, 'she smiled', is that you can't speak smile. You can smile...
"I love you, too," she said, smiling.

Here we can see she's smiling, but she's speaking the words.

We can also do away with the he said/she said tags and just show the action...

"I love you, too." Jane's smile couldn't hide her tears.

This is an action tag and gives the dialogue more impact.

The point here is that words can be spoken in many ways but they cannot be giggled, laughed, smiled, chuckled, leered, snickered, frowned, or glowered.

Also, be on the alert for overuse of adverbs:

"I hate you," she said murderously as she pointed the gun at him.
"Don't you love me at all?" he asked fearfully.
Get the idea?

You might also try staggering your tags:
She said, "I love you."
Tag at beginning.
"I love you, too," he said. "But I have things to work out."
Tag in the middle.
When writing your dialogue, (publishers love to see lots of white space, signaling dialogue), make sure it is true to life. Read it out loud. If it sounds stiff or phony, it probably is. Also, when writing dialogue, don't always use the person's name. How many times do you use a person's name when you're talking to them?
"Why, Susan, I haven't seen you in a dog's age," John said.
"Oh John, how many years has it been?" Susan asked.
"I don't know, Susan," John said.
Remember, bad dialogue is stilted, wooden and difficult to speak.

Assignment: On-line reading - Snappy Dialogue  Parts 1 & 2

Exercise: Write a scene of dialogue between one of the following:
1. a demented psychiatrist and a client
2. an evangelist and a philosophical homeless person
3. a police officer and a burglar who pretends to live in the apartment from which he is stealing
4. a mother who's just miscarried and her four-year-old who wants a baby sister.
Make sure your characters don't sound alike. A four-year-old doesn't sound like an adult, for example. Post your exercise to the classroom board.

 

 

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