Week 2: It’s The Wording That Counts
Believe it or not failure to communicate is the biggest problem in
critique/feedback groups. If you are giving feedback to a writer, more
than likely you are going to have something constructive (negative) to
say. If you intend to be helpful to the writer you most certainly will
have a constructive comment to make.
The thing you have to remember when giving feedback is:
It isn’t so much WHAT you say in your feedback, but HOW you say it.
I don’t think you have read this through out loud. If you had, you would
have caught the spelling and grammar errors. Read it through OUT LOUD to
yourself and see if you think it’s ready to submit. I bet you’ll find
some things you want to change. This could be a good read with a lot of
revisions.
Wow! How would you like to receive feedback like that? There has to be a
better way!
Here is feedback, saying the same things, but in a more tactful way. See
what you think.
I noticed a few possible spelling/grammar errors as I read through the
story. I find I catch more of them in my work if I run a spell/grammar
checker after each revision.
I also find reading my story out loud helps me to get a feeling for the
flow of the story. I catch a lot of things like that…just a suggestion.
I think this could be a very marketable story with some revisions. I’d
be glad to look it over again for you, if you feel the need to make any
changes.
See the difference? You get the same information across and the author
receives it without feeling defensive.
There are several hints to help you write more “reader friendly”
feedback:
1. Own your opinions. Make sure you state that things are your opinion,
not that they are fact. Instead of saying, “ The first paragraph was too
long.” You could say, “ I found the first paragraph too long for my
taste.”
2. Don’t quote “rules” about writing. There aren’t any rules; there are
guidelines. You can always say something like; “Most often we see
periods at the end of sentences. Your lack of them confused me.”
3. Don’t turn into a reference manual by quoting them. “In the Gregg
Reference Manual on page 20 you will find that a phrase occurring within
a sentence must always be set off with commas when it interrupts the
flow of a sentence.” If you HAVE TO quote the manuals it could be better
stated as “ I usually refer to Gregg Reference Manual on these things
and they suggest setting a phrase off with commas when it (the phrase)
interrupts the flow of the sentence.”
4. Avoid all Caps. Over the Internet this has come to indicate yelling.
No one wants to be yelled at. Instead you could set your comments apart
like this….
****** Here is my comment. See how it stands out?
5. Critique the story, not the author. Don’t make assumptions about the
author from their story. Don’t say things like, “ I assume this is your
first attempt at this kind of story.” That is sure to cause hard
feelings. It’s much better to say nothing at all in a situation like
this.
6. You are not the editor. Don’t act like one. Don’t try to change the
author’s mind about how he has written his story. Simply relay your
observations and leave it at that.
7. One way to make constructive comments easier to receive is to place
them between to positive comments. We call that the “cookie method”. By
putting the constructive comment between two positive comments, you will
open the writer up to “hear” your constructive comment and not just pass
it over. You can make your positive comments at the beginning and end of
your feedback if you like. This begins and ends the feedback on a
positive note.
Phrases to avoid:
- You have to…
- You should always…
- Never…
- You can’t …
- Don’t
- Any phrase stating that the author must do something instead of
suggesting it…
Better phrases to use:
- Maybe you could try…
- I didn’t really care for …
- I find this passage…
- I felt…
- Perhaps you could…
- Have you thought about…
- You might consider…
It is always helpful to read your feedback over out loud before sending
it. You’ll hear exactly what you have written, not what you THINK you
have written.
Keep in mind that this DOES NOT mean you can only say good things about
a manuscript. It just means that it is your RESPONSIBILITY as the person
giving feedback to give clear, carefully worded, tactful, feedback that
will help the author improve his/her writing. .
Lets give this a try, shall we? For lesson 2, lets take some
not-so-great feedback and make it easier to receive. Take the following
examples of feedback and give them a new, more tactful twist. Post them
to the board.
1. Odd twist you added, them keeping her (the baby) and all. Why did
they do it? You can’t just have it happen without explaining it! And
what is this about Angela being all devoted to her mother? Where did
that come from? No way would she even give the woman the time of day in
real life, let alone be “devoted to her”.
2. I don’t think you have read this through out loud. If you had, you
would have caught the spelling and grammar errors. Read it through OUT
LOUD to yourself and see if you think it’s ready to submit. I bet you’ll
find some things you want to change.
3. You should end the dialogue here. Taking it on just makes the main
character seem like an airhead rattling on.
4. Cut back on all the adjectives. They do nothing but slow the reader
down.
5. Leave the last two sentences out. The paragraph will flow better.
6. This paragraph doesn’t flow well. Re-write it.
7. You need to do some research on what you are writing about. I work on
cars and there is no way that you can make the brakes fail that way!
8. ERROR! Sentence fragment!
9. In case you didn’t know, you always put a space between paragraphs.
10. Re-write the last three paragraphs and make a new paragraph each
time the speaker changes.
11. What does this mean, and what does it have to do with the story?
12. At this point I feel like reading this was a waste of my time.
13. It took me 5 times to understand what you meant by that sentence.
14. Confusing
15. The last line didn’t fit with the story. Change it to “ And he never
looked back.”
16. This line is a total cliché’. An editor would toss that in a minute!
17. Where did you come up with that character? I think you need to do a
character sketch on him and get the details about him before you start
writing. Always do character sketches!
18. Why do you use so many swear words in your writing? That makes you
sound very uneducated. And it’s just nasty.
19. What is the main idea of this story? I have read it twice and have
no clue!
20. Is this your first try at writing poetry?
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